February 21, 2019
One month from now will be my NINE YEAR survivorship anniversary. God has been merciful with my life. I have recently thought back to the spring of 2010 when attending my "chemo class" at the treatment center. The oncology nurse gave me a tour of the infusion area and I felt I just could NOT "do chemo". It was such an overwhelming thing to me. The nurse, very seriously, told me that if I want to be "here" in two to five years for my children, I would have to go through chemotherapy. I secretly resented the way that she said it so matter-of-factly. There I was, scared to death that my life would end and my children would grow up without their mother, but her tone lacked empathy and sincere understanding about how I was feeling. My whole world was at a "stand still" and this "cancer business" was still spinning in my head without a rhyme or reason. Everything happened so quickly. And, she was expecting me to be REASONABLE? :) Ha! I just wasn't "there" yet.
God knew that four years post-diagnosis that my husband was going to walk out of the marriage and family without warning. He knew that those kids would need their mom. I look at the kids often, thinking, "Thank you, Lord" for keeping me alive for them.
The medical update is that there are no signs of recurrence at this time. At an appointment about a year ago, my oncologist gave me the sobering news that my type of cancer (the specific characteristics; i.e. estrogen positive) tends to come back later (after several years). That is always in the back of my mind.
My most recently visit was last month. The oncologist strongly stressed the importance of diet and exercise with regard to preventing a recurrence. She seemed to really show serious concern about that. I have been trying to modify my diet to mostly plant based foods. The biggest challenge for me is giving up soda. I don't like coffee, so my "morning shot of energy" is my caffeinated soda.
Thank you for reading. I'll be back again someday, Lord willing....
For now, if you are battling breast cancer, or supporting someone who is,--- one of the things that kept me encouraged during the fight was ALWAYS having something to look forward to on my "good days"--- the days when I was off the chemo cycle and feeling stronger. Plan SOMETHING--- it really helps to have that sense of normal. It could be something as simple as going to a restaurant, a visit to the beach, a weekend away, ---- anything that gets you out of the house and away from your place of "recovery" on your sick days. Most of all, though, please know that GOD LOVES YOU and wants you to know that. No matter what.
