Oh, What a Day!

Ever have one of those days when you know the devil just wants to make you miserable? Well, today was my turn, I guess. :-/

A lady is cleaning our house once per week to help out right now, while we go through this "change of plans" called cancer. Today is cleaning day, but we opted for her to not come because she's very sick with a cold and I don't to catch it while facing surgery. So, the day already looked LONG and overwhelming, and then... a house to clean on top of everything else. Anyone who knows me knows I have to keep a clean house. lol

So, I started in scrubbing the bathroom before the kids woke up... and before long started to feel extremely overwhelmed with all the cleaning, the errands, the baby shower preparations, and just whatever else seems like too much in general these days.

Soon after, the kids woke up and my husband came home. He said he'd help me with the cleaning, and he did. (He's so good!)

Then, the car repair shop owner called to tell us that Stephen's vehicle ended up costing $1160 to bring up to snuff to pass inspection. We were disheartened, because the guy had told us it should cost $800, tops, to do the work. We had JUST paid off our lingering credit card debt (for about the same amount as the repairs) and now we have to put this on our card. I know it could be worse, but it was discouraging news.

So, he rushed the boys to school and then we went to pick up his car. I had to get to Walmart and then make sure to be home by 3:00 as I was expecting a guest. All of this "rush rush" along with a traffic jam going on inside my head about all that I have to do before the baby shower, Easter and the surgery. And, I was tired. And, I was starting to feel emotional again about the road ahead with this cancer business. I was starting to feel overloaded by this point in the day.

After leaving Stephen off to get his vehicle, I stopped by the post office drive-thru to pick up stamps before racing to Walmart. I pulled up to the window and the teller asked "Where is your DRIVER today?" I asked "Driver?" (This really took me by surprise.) She said "Yeah, the one who's always driving when you come here." Knowing that I go there with my husband most of the time, I asked "My husband? He's driving a different vehicle right now." She looked confused and said "Oh, it must be your SON." I said "No, my son is married and drives his own car." She said "Oh, when you said he's driving his own vehicle I thought maybe he was driving with you before on his learner's permit and is now driving his own car because he got his license." I very un-Christian-like asked, with a stone face, "Is he BLACK?" She said "Yes." I said "He is MY HUSBAND." With that, she turned away, kind of smuggly, and went to retrieve my stamp order. She returned to the window and gave me my things, reciting my total due. I said "He either looks really young, or I look really old." She said with a high pitched voice "Oh, you both look GREAT!" No apology.

I cannot tell you how upset this made me. So upset that I called the post office to file a complaint. The phone rang and rang and rang until the call disconnected. So, I called again and guess who picked up on the SECOND RING? Yep, the same woman who'd made the assumptions about who Stephen is. I asked for a manager or supervisor. She stumbled around for words and said she'd only been there for a short while and hasn't seen either of the managers. She asked if I wanted to speak to someone named "Joan" (not the real name). I asked "Is she a manager?" She informed me of something about this Joan, but I didn't catch it. So, Joan picked up the phone. I asked "Are you a manager?" She said she isn't, but that she works out back. I proceeded to tell her what my complaint is. She asked me "Do you want to speak to her (the offender) or do you want me to do it?" I answered "Both." So, she put me on hold for a long time and finally came back and said "I apologize for the delay. She is with a customer. Do you want to continue to hold?" I told her I couldn't continue to hold because I had soem commitments (I was very much behind schedule.) I asked her for the overall manager's name and she told me, but she said he won't be in until Monday. I asked her to please inform "the offender" that she shouldn't make assumptions like that and what she said to me was very inappropriate. Joan told me she'd already informed this other lady that she needed to speak with her when she had a minute.

Well, as disturbing as it was at the time, this is just ONE MORE example of how EMOTIONAL dealing with a cancer diagnosis is. EVERYTHING in your life is much more emotional. You can have a strong day and feel like "I can do this!" and then the very next day one little thing can cause all of your fears and emotions about the cancer to come flooding to the surface.

I've talked with some breast cancer survivors and all of them have said that it is a VERY emotional situation and that there were times when they'd just cry. Their emotions were all over the place. It's hard. It is VERY VERY HARD. No matter what you are doing with your day, or how busy you are, or how thankful you are, or how much faith you have--- this is a HARD, EMOTIONAL situation.

With all that said, I had three very strong days in a row prior to today. I think most of the days have been and will be "strong days'. I hope for patience and understanding for the rough times.

A breast cancer survivor came to visit today. It's really very meaningful to have people who've "been there" to talk with. She's given me encouragement about possible treatment and even told me about someone who can help me get a really good wig that will look natural, should the need arise. She's come to the other side of this illness, and that is encouraging to know and see.

I've been wearing a bracelet that a sweet, elderly lady gave to me at the support group the other day. It's made of pink and white beads and it says "HOPE". She quietly slipped it onto my wrist and hugged me. She made it herself, and I believe she's been a survivor of 38 years now. I can't bare to take off this bracelet. So thoughtful.

And, people have been so kind, supportive and loving. I appreciate each one so much!!! This is something you just don't go through alone.