Appointment With Surgeon

We met with the surgeon today. My "wounds" are healing well.

We've scheduled my second surgery for next Monday, May 3rd. We could have done it this week, but Stephen and I felt we needed to plan it around his work hours. Next week, he's scheduled to work fewer hours than usual so this means he'll not have to call out as much or take a lot of time off without pay again.

The surgeon will remove a wider margin of breast tissue and all of the nodes on the right side. It's going to be a more involved surgery than the first one and will require an overnight hospital stay. And, I'll come home with a drain. Oh boy! I can expect more pain, but this time around--- no baby shower, no extra commitments--- just rest and get well.

I realized at the appointment today that I had misunderstood some information before. I thought that there wouldn't have been a chance the cancer could spread to my bloodstream if it hadn't gone to the nodes. That's not the case. I was told that if one has cancer then the risk of it going to the bloodstream is present.

Also, thought that the only thing that would take care of microscopic cells that have escaped into the bloodstream would be chemotherapy. I guess that even the hormone therapy drugs can tackle that.

It's confusing sometimes, I think. There's just so much information to learn about, and the surgeon said that there are a lot of different cancer treament drugs.

He said that both he and the oncologist feel optomistic about my situation. It was good to hear that again!

He also addressed the issue of my having trouble letting go of the sense of control over planning (i.e. my summer). He said that this year I have to not plan and take care of my health, and then next year have the illusion of control back. Ha! It's so true--- we can easily think we're so in control of our schedules and plans, but we really don't from one day to the next what's going to happen.

I've been a bit spoiled lately by family members. :-) They've attempted to bring some cheer via my mailbox and it's worked! :-) My sister sent a nice "sisters" magnet and a dainty breast cancer bracelet and scripture card. And, the next day I opened a box with a PINK POODLE in it! :-) She had pink eye make-up attached to her, like a collar and tag. So cute! My sister sent those. :-) Pink, of course, is symbolic of breast cancer awareness.

And, today, I was very surprised to find a box full of Mary Kay cosmetics and skin care items from my cousin. I love Mary Kay and used their products for about 12 years and haven't been able to afford to use them regularly for about a year or so now. NOTHING makes my skin feel and look as healthy as MK. At a time when I feel that my femininity is at stake--- these things will allow me to pamper and feel comforted. I'm vey grateful and appreciate all of the love and support of others. Several have sent very thoughtful notes in the mail, too, and I'm overwhelmed by these kindnesses. I know how busy life is for people, and to think they have taken some time out of their schedules to do something so thoughtful...

And, my cousin's note (included in the box) contained a reminder that GOD is in CONTROL. How timely given that I've been struggling with the sense of a loss of control over my health and body. Yes, GOD is ultimately in control.