All dressed up and nowhere to go.... well, not quite. :-) I am dressed up a bit, but WANTING to be home. :-) I'm catching up on emails, thank you notes, etc. today and love the "down time".
As far as the dressing up part goes--- that's just for a mental boost. :-) I have decided that this is going to be my "summer of fashion". Ha! If I'm going to lose my hair, I'll just work a bit harder at the other stuff. My nails are painted, I am wearing some nice jewelry (including a new fashion watch--- shopping for those may become a new hobby! Ha!), and I've done my hair and make-up.
Now, normally... I don't take the time to do so much for my appearance, because--- well, I have three kids under the age of five. Ha!! (ummmm....time?) So, all this fashion stuff is to totally combat the effects of chemotherapy. If my hair is going, then I'll learn how to wear hats, scarves and wigs! It can take my hair but it's not going to take my joy!
Done with the shallow "chit chat", and onto the other stuff! :-)
Some people in the world would maybe think I'm a nutcase, because I refuse to lose my joy. :-) (Even when there is pain and and I feel ill!) I may have cancer, but I'm still thankful. Why not? I have family, friends, love, shelter, food, health insurance, access to treatment, and... faith in a God who is faithful and in complete control. There's way too much to be grateful for.
I'm keeping notes to figure out what to expect the next chemo cycle. Apparently, I get "hit" with the worst nausea two days after treatment, and the next day is somewhat better but still bad. Then, the fourth day after the Neulasta shot, I get excrutiating bone pain. The other days in between, I can do some activity but rest when needed.
When that bone pain "hit" me on Tuesday I wasn't expecting it. It was so intense. It started at 4 AM and I laid in bed trying to cope with it. Tylenol didn't touch it. As I laid there hurting I refused to "give in" to the pain entirely. I thought about God's creation--- how beautiful the sky, ocean, grass, flowers, etc. are. And, if God was powerful enough to create those, He was powerful enough to help me get through this painful day. There was comfort in knowing that God is powerful. :-)
Later in the day, I talked with a nurse. She said the bone pain was due to the Neulasta shot stimulating the bone marrow to generate new white cells. Therefore, I knew that the pain was a good sign. I'd rather have white cell counts go up and protect me from viruses and infection than to not have the injection and get sick.
EVERYTHING is subject to perspective! People have told me that having a positive attitude is crucial to getting well. I believe it's true.
We've had some blessings amidst our first "chemo week". We REALLY enjoyed a visit from Stephen's sister Margaret this week. We were sad to see her go. While "auntie" was here she treated the children to McDonald's Happy Meals, styled Kathryn's hair, played with the kids and brought smiles to our faces. I was so glad, too, that Stephen had some special time out shopping with Margaret. It had been three years since he had seen his sister. I hope that we can spend more time with her before her
August return to Africa.
The preschool teachers and two moms from the twins' class surprised us with amazing food yesterday. I always say it, and I'll say it again, people have been SO GOOD to us.
Kaylee and I had a fun "mom/daughter" time out on Monday evening. It's just too bad that cancer had to be the movitation to get us out togehter! We went to a LOOK GOOD FEEL BETTER meeting at the cancer treatment facility. Cosmetologists donate their time to helping cancer patients learn how to care for their scalp/hair, skin, nails, etc. during treatment time. It's a national organization and it's a wonderful program. Many big name cosmetic companies contribute by giving free skin and beauty products for "kits" to be made for patients. We women were absolutely SPOILED that night. We all walked away with $300 worth of name brand goodies--- some I'd never be able to afford. We had the best time and it was a real morale booster.
While there, I met a woman who's already lost her hair. She had to remove her wig for a moment and I was totally overcome with emotion. Tears welled up and I told her "You still look so beautiful!" She did! Cancer/chemo has removed her hair, but it hasn't taken her beauty.
On a very personal note, I want to share something. Following my divorce, I became kind of exclusive. I went through a lot of changes and adjustments in a short time--- remarriage, the births of three babies in 3 1/2 years, my two oldest children graduating high school and venturing off to other states, and other things. I felt overwhelmed and thought it'd be easier to cope by myself. But, in doing so, I really cut myself off from others (friends, church) quite a bit. There is one lesson that I am EXTREMELY grateful for in this "cancer" thing--- I have learned that people NEED people! Fellowship with others is so important---and it's God's BEST for us. The goodness and kindness of others has softened me so much, and it's been needed. I'm really ENJOYING all of the interactions with people and can't imagine going back to my "reclusive" ways. Ha! I'd be miserable if I were to do that!
Speaking of people, a few blog posts ago I mentioned that there's a person who is feeding on the negative of my cancer. Here's the scoop! ;-) She sells beauty products and I buy them. :-) We chat every week regarding a purchase or delivery. Well... I'm not getting the "How are you feeling? I hope you'll be well soon." kind of "vibes" from her. What I get is "ARE YOU GOING TO LOSE YOUR HAIR?" (with a kind of exclamation of excitement in the question), "Do you STILL have cancer?", "Oh, I thought you may be in the HOSPITAL!" I can't explain it well, but it's not a care and concern kind of deal. It's more like a nosy, need to know thing. I go between feeling annoyed to amused with this, but more than that, I just want her to know that God is BIGGER than cancer. :0) I'm still kicking, because He's still giving me breath. That's the REAL "scoop!" :-)
On that dishy note, I'll close here and enjoy feeling good for today! ;-)
As far as the dressing up part goes--- that's just for a mental boost. :-) I have decided that this is going to be my "summer of fashion". Ha! If I'm going to lose my hair, I'll just work a bit harder at the other stuff. My nails are painted, I am wearing some nice jewelry (including a new fashion watch--- shopping for those may become a new hobby! Ha!), and I've done my hair and make-up.
Now, normally... I don't take the time to do so much for my appearance, because--- well, I have three kids under the age of five. Ha!! (ummmm....time?) So, all this fashion stuff is to totally combat the effects of chemotherapy. If my hair is going, then I'll learn how to wear hats, scarves and wigs! It can take my hair but it's not going to take my joy!
Done with the shallow "chit chat", and onto the other stuff! :-)
Some people in the world would maybe think I'm a nutcase, because I refuse to lose my joy. :-) (Even when there is pain and and I feel ill!) I may have cancer, but I'm still thankful. Why not? I have family, friends, love, shelter, food, health insurance, access to treatment, and... faith in a God who is faithful and in complete control. There's way too much to be grateful for.
I'm keeping notes to figure out what to expect the next chemo cycle. Apparently, I get "hit" with the worst nausea two days after treatment, and the next day is somewhat better but still bad. Then, the fourth day after the Neulasta shot, I get excrutiating bone pain. The other days in between, I can do some activity but rest when needed.
When that bone pain "hit" me on Tuesday I wasn't expecting it. It was so intense. It started at 4 AM and I laid in bed trying to cope with it. Tylenol didn't touch it. As I laid there hurting I refused to "give in" to the pain entirely. I thought about God's creation--- how beautiful the sky, ocean, grass, flowers, etc. are. And, if God was powerful enough to create those, He was powerful enough to help me get through this painful day. There was comfort in knowing that God is powerful. :-)
Later in the day, I talked with a nurse. She said the bone pain was due to the Neulasta shot stimulating the bone marrow to generate new white cells. Therefore, I knew that the pain was a good sign. I'd rather have white cell counts go up and protect me from viruses and infection than to not have the injection and get sick.
EVERYTHING is subject to perspective! People have told me that having a positive attitude is crucial to getting well. I believe it's true.
We've had some blessings amidst our first "chemo week". We REALLY enjoyed a visit from Stephen's sister Margaret this week. We were sad to see her go. While "auntie" was here she treated the children to McDonald's Happy Meals, styled Kathryn's hair, played with the kids and brought smiles to our faces. I was so glad, too, that Stephen had some special time out shopping with Margaret. It had been three years since he had seen his sister. I hope that we can spend more time with her before her
August return to Africa.The preschool teachers and two moms from the twins' class surprised us with amazing food yesterday. I always say it, and I'll say it again, people have been SO GOOD to us.
Kaylee and I had a fun "mom/daughter" time out on Monday evening. It's just too bad that cancer had to be the movitation to get us out togehter! We went to a LOOK GOOD FEEL BETTER meeting at the cancer treatment facility. Cosmetologists donate their time to helping cancer patients learn how to care for their scalp/hair, skin, nails, etc. during treatment time. It's a national organization and it's a wonderful program. Many big name cosmetic companies contribute by giving free skin and beauty products for "kits" to be made for patients. We women were absolutely SPOILED that night. We all walked away with $300 worth of name brand goodies--- some I'd never be able to afford. We had the best time and it was a real morale booster.
While there, I met a woman who's already lost her hair. She had to remove her wig for a moment and I was totally overcome with emotion. Tears welled up and I told her "You still look so beautiful!" She did! Cancer/chemo has removed her hair, but it hasn't taken her beauty.
On a very personal note, I want to share something. Following my divorce, I became kind of exclusive. I went through a lot of changes and adjustments in a short time--- remarriage, the births of three babies in 3 1/2 years, my two oldest children graduating high school and venturing off to other states, and other things. I felt overwhelmed and thought it'd be easier to cope by myself. But, in doing so, I really cut myself off from others (friends, church) quite a bit. There is one lesson that I am EXTREMELY grateful for in this "cancer" thing--- I have learned that people NEED people! Fellowship with others is so important---and it's God's BEST for us. The goodness and kindness of others has softened me so much, and it's been needed. I'm really ENJOYING all of the interactions with people and can't imagine going back to my "reclusive" ways. Ha! I'd be miserable if I were to do that!
Speaking of people, a few blog posts ago I mentioned that there's a person who is feeding on the negative of my cancer. Here's the scoop! ;-) She sells beauty products and I buy them. :-) We chat every week regarding a purchase or delivery. Well... I'm not getting the "How are you feeling? I hope you'll be well soon." kind of "vibes" from her. What I get is "ARE YOU GOING TO LOSE YOUR HAIR?" (with a kind of exclamation of excitement in the question), "Do you STILL have cancer?", "Oh, I thought you may be in the HOSPITAL!" I can't explain it well, but it's not a care and concern kind of deal. It's more like a nosy, need to know thing. I go between feeling annoyed to amused with this, but more than that, I just want her to know that God is BIGGER than cancer. :0) I'm still kicking, because He's still giving me breath. That's the REAL "scoop!" :-)
On that dishy note, I'll close here and enjoy feeling good for today! ;-)
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