Wiggie

It was a bit of a restless sleep due to the "pricklies" on my head and getting used to sleeping with a cotton cap, but encouragement came in the morning when I sported my wig--- "Wiggie". :-) She's giving me a sense of dignity. I don't know that I'll always wear it, as it's hot, but I feel like ME with it on. I'm wearing it around the house today to get used to the feeling of having it on, and to see how well it stays in place. Here's a picture:

My husband was sweet yesterday. He punched out at work when he knew Kaylee would be going somewhere so I wouldn't be home alone after having my hair shaved off in the afternoon. He knew it was an emotional adjustment. He brought me a KitKat bar. :-) He also picked up some gold hoop earrings for me so I can have something to accent as well as distract away from my turbans and head scarves--- I'd asked him to get some, and he did a great job of picking them out.

I'm trying to work into feeling comfortable enough to go out with a wig on today, and in the future. I may try going to the grocery store with Stephen to pick up milk for the baby. I'm a bit nervous about it. If it were a week day, the older women would be working the registers at the little store nearby. I'm familiar with them as we shop there regularly. On the weekends, the teenagers and college kids run the front end.

Update:

Stephen and I DID go to the grocery store for a few items. We saw some nice people from church, but I wasn't ready to "face" someone I knew yet. We kind of ducked and grabbed what we needed. It was awkward, but I think the best thing to do when you feel uncomfortable is to "dive in" and get used to a situation. I'm trying!

This reminds me of being a VERY shy teenager and wanting so badly to share something during testimony time in a school chapel service (I attended a Chrsitian school and we had weekly chapel meetings). It was so painful to stand up and speak. My legs were shaking like crazy and I felt like crying due to nervousness. As hard as it was, it was a turning point--- and I often think of that day when transitioning somehow in life.

Once returning home from the store we considered taking the kids to lunch at Texas Roadhouse. Wanting Stephen to get to do something special, I decided to "just do it". The neighbor was outside so before leaving I asked her for her honest opinion about the wig. She thought it looks great from the front, but that it needs the very ends in the back trimmed up. (They look split or like uneven layers, she thinks.)

Stephen and the kids got in the car. I fussed with my wig in the mirror and started to "chicken out". I ran upstairs and put a cap and scarf set on instead. Stephen checked out the look and encouraged me to go back up and put the wig back on. He really likes it. With the wig settled back on my head, I got into the car equipped with a headband style scarf. :-) I tied it over the top of the wig and tied it underneath the hair in the back. That seemed to "do the trick" and made me feel that I looked less "wiggie". The wig has much more volume than my natural hair does, so that scarf covered the "poof" a bit. I requested a booth seat and things went well. Stephen kept an eye on the wig and scarf to let me know if they moved at all or needed adjusting. WHAT A GOOD MAN!!?? :-) (I'm sure he'll be glad when I just RELAX about this head stuff!) :-)

We had a nice meal and I was able to forget about the wig for much of the time we were there. The boys had fun, and Kathryn--- well, let's just say she's in the "terrible twos" at almost 20 months of age. Maybe she's not going to go to many restaurants for a while. :-)

I'm writing about this hair experience, because I have a feeling it's going to be very valuable down the road. I want to remember what it is like (every detail) so that when I'll meet someone else in this situation, I'll be able to refer back to how I felt when losing my hair.

Naturally, I KNOW down deep inside that this will seem somewhat trivial at some point--- but right now, I have to be honest and say it has been very, very traumatic.