Feeling Like a Limp Mop

WOW!

Well, I don't think any of the paperwork, teaching or preparations for chemotherapy could really get one ready for what it's REALLY like.

I have felt like a limp mop today and I think anyone could grab me and clean the floor with me. :-/ I rest for a few hours and then get up to try and do something (i.e. shower, pick up a small mess the kids made, open mail) and then I'm just "shot" and ready to lay down again.

I did take nausea meds throughout the night and am trying to stay on schedule with those. I could strongly smell the eggs Stephen cooked for Sam this morning and the bleach that was used to clean the bathrooms--- and that was from my closed bedroom door on the second floor.

Lots of foods taste metalic. Jello seems to be okay. I'm going to try and eat cube steak, bland potato and well cooked carrots tonight. I was a bit anemic before starting treatment and my red cells are probably being wiped out a bit by now. I'm hoping the steak will help.

I feel SO BAD for my husband to be shouldering so many household tasks without my help. There are a lot of normal "little things" I do that the others don't even know about. Kaylee's helping him, too. She's tired. I think it's going to take time for everyone to get into a routine.

This morning, I told Stephen I can't do this... I can't do this for more than a few days each cycle. It's HARD.

Today, I don't even know HOW I can be effective after all of this---but realistically, I have to remember that once the treatments are over, I should feel normal again.

I'm not writing to complain. I'm writing as almost a plea... but not to anyone in particular. I just feel so cruddy and discouraged.

Stephen's sister isn't coming til tom. morning now... hope to feel somewhat better, to at least be dressed by the time she comes. Couldn't get out of bed til after 11 today.