Getting Through the Sick Days

Just a wee post as the "sick days" of this second chemo cycle play out... it looks like the side effects are right on schedule with the last round of treatment. After a few more days, I should regain my sense of normalcy. I hope so!

The side effects have been so similar, with the exception of my left arm and a little bit of what feels like occasional "heart fluttering". I monitor my blood pressure and it's actually very good---better than my usual borderline/high baseline readings.

I am waiting til I feel better to note questions for my next oncologist's/treatment appointment, but I will definitely go prepared for discussion. I want to know what my options are, including if we can back the dosage of my chemo drugs down a bit.

I have to be honest, yesterday, I felt ready to just QUIT treatment. I woke up crying, discouraged and somewhat depressed. It's a LOT to go through, even when one can maintain the perspective that it's short term, it's a life saving measure, etc.

It is NOT fun. It was very disturbing last night, in my opinion, for my three young children to see me pop off the couch gasping for breath. I had started to doze off while laying on my left side. My husband was reading to the kids in the same room. Suddenly, i felt I couldn't breathe and jumped up to get my husband to help me. I HATE that my kids see me sick! They're too little to really understand, and I feel like I've been trying hard the past couple of days to reassure them while feeling miserable.

I don't know what's going on... if it was drug related (so much junk in my system) or anxiety related from what happened with the allergic reaction to the Taxotere the other day. if it continues, I'll have to call the doc's and get this checked out.

Aside from this "yucky stuff", we are still blessed. God has used people to minister to us in ways that have impacted me in a life changing manner. I want them to know that their kindness goes beyond their thoughtful acts or words... and one of these days I'll find a way to properly convey what I want to say about that! :-)